Thursday, August 24, 2006

Regrets

In no particular order, here’s a list of things I regret ever doing or thinking was a good idea.

Teaching the kids that farts noises are funny
Most all of 1991
Not coming up with a better answer to “does this [outfit] make me look fat?” than “Well, kinda.”
Giving that guy the finger that one time and he saw me do it
Throwing up in front of my date in November of 1984
Parting my hair down the middle and “feathering” it. And that photos of this ’doo still exist in the Universe
The thing with the llamas
Anything to do with cream de menthe. Never. Again.
Deciding not to buy MSFT in 1991 or AAPL in 1998
Anthropology 420
Crying during Beaches
Taking April to Homecoming and spending all that money and watching her fall asleep on the car ride home
Getting fired from Twin Type. (I think that was a carryover from 1991)
Eating a BBQ sandwich that sent me to the hospital
Realizing that I’ve basically already done this list less than a year ago and I’ve already started to recycle material

So tune in eight months from now and I’ll proabably have a strikingly similar list.

Jon scribbled this mess on 08/24/06 at 01:30 PM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link

Wow, Just Wow

Jill Carroll’s serialized version of her kidnapping and subsequent release.

At the Christian Science Monitor

Jon scribbled this mess on 08/24/06 at 11:45 AM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Nuture, not Nature

“Dad, do you think my zit is noticeable?”

I swear, that’s what he said to me. And totally with that straight face.

Look! He got his braces a week or so ago:

Astoundingly, his teeth are already much straighter than they used to be. It’s a shame that yogurt drink took off half his cheek when we pried it from his face. He was going to be such a cute boy once his teeth got straight. Ah well. Guess I’m going to be the only super-model in the family.

Jon scribbled this mess on 08/23/06 at 10:04 PM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Photos Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link

Monday, August 21, 2006

Comp Lit

We went out to dinner last Saturday night. No big deal. Except that I spilled my Diet Coke everywhere and when I got a new glass, our server gave me a cup with a lid. Nice.

We have the *best* dinner conversations in our family. Carrie started the ball rolling by asking us a series of questions. Given the following choices, which would you choose?

Would you rather die by drowning or by fire? (Consensus: Die in a Fire!)
Would you rather have all of your teeth pulled or have one of your limbs chopped off? All without anesthetic. (Consensus: Ouch!)
Would you rather walk ten miles in hot sun or eat a raw steak? (Everyone but Carrie and Reha (vegetarian and semi-veg, respectively) choose the hot sun. My choice was influenced by my very difficult 16 (OK, fine, 12.5) mile run that day)
Would you rather eat cooked onions or raw grapes? (This was just for Lucas, who can’t stand either one. He chose grapes.)
Would you rather substitute teach an eighth grade sex ed class for a week or listen to Dad sing for 90 minutes? (I’m hurt and offended, but not surprised. Most of the family asked what I’d be singing before making their choice. (They all chose sex ed class for pubescents) Boo, family, boo.)
For the ladies: Would you rather smell like period or fart forever? (Menses, since it’s probably not too overpowering)
Would you rather have the sensation of water up your nose or have you foot “waking up” and all pins and needly forever? (Split decision between the two, as I recall)
Again, for Lucas: Would you rather go the first day of seventh grade wearing a bra (no other top, but normal pants) or get kicked *hard* in the gonads? (He chose the tender vittles option. It was probably wrong of me to kick him right there in the TGIFridays, huh?)
For Reha, who has a thing about bad smells: Would you rather be trapped in an elevator sized room for four hours with grungy, smelly body odor-full hippies or the same dinky sized room full of urine-soaked old people? (And the old people win!)
Again, for the ladies: Would you rather show up at school/work topless or bottomless? (Topless, easier to cover, apparently)
Would you rather go to the dentist have a a root canal/some other procedure (with anesthesia), or have a prostate or pelvic exam (depending on anatomy, of course)? (Reha chose the pelvic, Carrie the dentist, Lucas (who doesn’t know any better), the dentist and I chose the dentist as well. (The dentist is basically all about the numbing shot and that’s over pretty quickly, but the prostate check… why that feels like it lasts *forever*)
No one asked me this, but for me: would you rather use Windows 98 for the rest of your life or get the Electric Chair? (My answer: Where do you plug this thing in? Shouldn’t we hose me down before you throw the switch?)

There were also a *lot* of gross “would you rather eat disgusting thing X or nasty thing Y?” but I’ll spare you those details, dear readers.

Jon scribbled this mess on 08/21/06 at 06:03 PM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link

Sleeping Beauty, Part Due

Carrie complains that she doesn’t get enough “face-time” on my site.

So here you go, babe!

She’s fallen asleep on a kids’ slide.

Here’s a close up!

I can’t imagine anything *less* comfortable to nap on, but she made it work.

Jon scribbled this mess on 08/21/06 at 09:04 AM, best we can tell it fits in the category of Photos Regular Post. This many folks had something to say about that, The permanent home of this entry is here: Link