Wednesday, February 21, 2007

So Very Over This Phase

After a little over a month, over 1200 photos, a homemade movie, one person violently physically ill after viewing (sorry about that!) and more than a few requests to take the stuff down, I have acquiesced. The quote from my lovely wife probably sums it up best, “Jon, it’s just kind of dumb.”

Point taken.

My iSight camera at work no longer takes photos of me every 15 minutes and uploads the photos to my flickr account.

[Cue sonorous finale and “there was much rejoicing” type music]

I had kind of forgotten about it and knocked it over so it was taking photos like this one:

Yeah, that’s just dumb, people. Even I know that.

Though every now and then I’d remember it was doing its thing every quarter hour and in a panic, go back and peruse the photos in case I’d been doing something socially unacceptable, like you know… booger harvesting… or something.

Thankfully, none of those. But plenty of this:

“Please . . . great gods of Design, don’t let Illustrator crash on this file again.”

I think the last one is particularly ripe for captioning. I’ll start. “The reaction when one first sees the goatse guy” Eww.

So yeah, done with that. Though the coding/geek exercise setting the whole thing up was very fun in a “no wonder I never dated much"-heavy-body-odor-and-Cheet-o-stained-fingers kind of way.

Plus, sometimes a man needs to hoover out his schnozz without the whole intarweb peeking in.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Worker’s Comp Claim Exhibit #1

I was picking up a stack of papers and I got a paper cut on my right point-y finger. The paper sliced right underneath my fingernail. (Holy crap does THAT hurt, by the way.)

I’m having a hard time using my mouse. That finger is CRUCIAL to my work! I can’t click and drag nearly as well. Double-clicking is excruciating! Oh, the pain!

What?

It’s possible…

Monday, February 19, 2007

Overheard While Playing Candyland Last Night

“Curse You, Grandma Peanut!”
“Double Purple! YES! IN YOUR FACE!”
“No, I’m the green guy! If you touch my dude again, I will kill you.”
“I saw you move your guy, you cheater! I’m going to cut your fingers off you if you do that again.”
“Lose a turn! You are a LOSER, you big losing, lose-y McLoser face with all the LOSING.”
“IT’S YOUR TURN, WILL YOU PICK A CARD, ALREADY!”
“Stop taunting him, isn’t it bad enough that he’s a loser?” Turn to look at the boy in question, “Right, loser?”
“Yes! Yes! “YES! I am the winner!” (this had an accompanying victory dance. There was much booty wagging as well.)

Remember, it’s not a night of fun at the Deal Family Compound until three of the following criteria have been met:

Tears
At least two separate people shouting, “YOU SUCK!”
Bloodshed (bonus if this happens while people are trying to pick their tokens before the game commences)
Accusations of cheating
Cards thrown in anger and/or disgust
Verbal taunting of the loser(s)
Promises “to NEVER to play with you again!”

Friday, February 16, 2007

Haircut 100

Ellis has been bugging us for a while to get her hair cut. We don’t know why and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t either. I’m also quite confident that she really just wanted to sit in the chair and have somebody fawn over her, little diva that she is.

She also insisted that she wanted bangs. No one knows where she learned that word. And as you can see from some of the photos below, she also felt the need to do some dancin’, twirlin’ and “ta-da’ing” after she got her bob.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

The Meek Need Not Apply

“The Mad Professor peered over his spectacles while muttering about world domination and how everyone over the age of thirty would be the first up against the wall when the revolution came.”

We feel safe ignoring his ramblings.

At least until he can get the Uranium-235 enriched. We really shouldn’t let him have centrifuges in his room. 

 

Novus

Proximus

 

Favorite Entries

If you are new around here, the following entries have been reasonably well received. You might want to peruse these.

• Partners
• Correspondence
• Help Wanted
• From the Office of Mis-directed Email
• A Word from the Small Person in the House
• RNT Product Review: Chocolate Mix Skittles Left Me Sterile!
• Jon’s Report Card circa… A Long Time Ago
• Dear Gratuitously Naked Conversationalist at the Gym:
• A Peek Inside the Writer’s Guild and Producers’ Negotiations
• We Regret the Error
• Letters from a Homeowner to His General Contractor
• What I Did There
• Hermaphrodite Administrative Assistants and Receptionists Need Not Apply
• Giving Me an IM Account Was Obviously a Huge Mistake
• Official Ransom Note Typography Vista vs. Mac OS X Shootout
• I Need a Real Hobby
• Beat Down
• Big Fat Lies
• True Love
• Now MY Ovaries Hurt
• Don’t Get Her Started
• Disturbing Trend
• Had to do it
• Mooshy stuff
• Ransom Note Typography End User License Agreement “EULA”
• Diva-licious!
• Just so we’re clear
• PETA may have a point

Holy Crap! Look at all this STUFF down here. It's awesome!

Really, I'm glad you made it down here. Almost no one ever comes down here. I'm like in a freaking dungeon down here. I get lonely. But not you. YOU made it all the way to the end of the page. For this I think I've a little crush on you. I don't know, is "love" to strong a word to use in this situation? Well, if it's not "love," then it's very strong "like." I'm totally in like with you for coming down here. You are awesome. Please love me back! I know, I know, I shouldn't be all needy, it's not attractive at all, but you don't know how it is to be stuck down here. Who scrolls all the way to the end of a page anymore these days? Anyway, thanks for shedding some light down here in the depths. I appreciate it. Shoot me an email and I'll send you a dollar, OK?

©2005-2010 Jon B. Deal All Rights Reserved. I'm not kidding around here, I know people who know other people who would be willing to beat you up or similarly infringe on your rights, should you happen to infringe on my rights.